Dana Candler lives in Kansas City, Missouri, where she and her husband Matt serve on the senior leadership at the International House of Prayer-KC Missions Base. Dana is also an instructor at the full-time Bible School of the Missions Base, the Forerunner School of Ministry.

Dana has authored many books, including, Mourning For The Bridegroom, Deep Unto Deep and The Rewards of Fasting. She fervently desires to see a generation of hearts awakened in lovesick abandonment to Jesus Christ as His return draws near.

This teaching has been adapted for web viewing.

The Lord’s identity as bridegroom

The Bridegroom identity of Jesus reveals His jealousy, His loyalty and His desire for us. When we give ourselves to beholding and growing in the revelation of Jesus as the Bridegroom, we touch the part of Jesus’ identity that most clearly reveals His passion and joy. We encounter the tenderness and affection that dispels our fear and shame. It is when we begin to live in the confidence of this divine desire and jealousy that our hearts come alive in love and obedience.

While we may be familiar with a few passages that point to this understanding of Jesus as a Bridegroom (Matt. 9:15, 22:2; 25:1, etc.), what may be new to us is that when Jesus declared Himself as a Bridegroom in the New Testament He was connecting Himself to a previous identity already in the minds of His people - the Husband of the Old Testament.

This part of His identity as Bridegroom has been consistently true of Him and continually revealed by Him. Understanding this part of the Lord’s identity as something He always conveyed of Himself to His people confronts all forms of false ideas about Him as a God who is distant, indifferent or stoic. The testimony of Scripture confirms that from the beginning of creation, all through the time of the Old Testament, according to God’s own words about His nature and the witness of the prophets, He is the One who is exceedingly jealous over His inheritance and deeply moved with consuming desire for His own.

Yahweh: The Husband of the Old Testament

Marriage relationship

Return, O backsliding children,” says the LORD; “for I am married to you. I will take you, one from a city and two from a family, and I will bring you to Zion. Jeremiah 3:14

The revelation of God as the Husband of His people spoke specifically to His covenantal love. Covenant is found in the marriage relationship and within that context finds its rightful home. From the beginning, marriage has always been about covenant.

It is not as though God just pointed to the highest human relationship and said, “This is what I am like.” Rather, God instituted human marriage to reflect something eternal within His own identity (Eph. 5:31-32).

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh ; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife ; and they shall become one flesh. Gen. 2: 23, 24

This (the exclusive one-flesh union and lifelong bonding of one man with one woman as seen with Adam and Eve) is the vision of human marriage which provides the coherent network of meanings necessary for an understanding of the covenanted nation’s relationship with Yahweh, as the story unfolds in the rest of Scripture…As the Old Testament unfolds, one first encounters only intimations of Yahweh’s marriage to His people. Such a relationship seems to have been assumed rather than to have been declared, for Yahweh is explicitly identified as the ‘husband’ of Israel nowhere previous to the prophets. Nevertheless, language suggestive of a marital bond is used of the covenant at the literary foundation of the Old Testament.[1]

It’s not that God merely employs the imagery of a marriage relationship to articulate His passion and pursuit for His people. Rather, the understanding of God’s covenantal love as the Bridegroom is inherent in His identity as God.

For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. Isaiah 54:5

After the Fall, God called His people back into covenant with Himself. Sinai was called the place of their betrothal. Continually the Lord calls rebellion against Him ‘spiritual harlotry’, a charge only found within a marriage context. Even the great commandment to love the Lord with all the heart, soul, mind and strength, only finds its home within the love-immersed atmosphere of covenant and betrothal.

Go and cry in the hearing of Jerusalem, saying, ‘Thus says the Lord: “I remember you, The kindness of your youth, the love of your betrothal, When you went after Me in the wilderness, In a land not sown. Jer. 2:2

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. Deut. 6:5

For post-fall humanity, adulterated by sin, the Bible unfolds the drama of a loving God winning back to himself ‘a pure bride for her one husband’ (2 Cor. 11:2). [2]

The marriage relationship was the framework that the people of God understood their relationship to Yahweh. They understood, even from Eden and Adam and Eve, that God was the Husband of His people and they were to relate to Him in the context of a marriage relationship of covenantal love.

Over and over again throughout the Old Testament we see God’s desire for fellowship as He openly declares it of Himself through the prophets (Isaiah, Hosea, Jeremiah, Ezekiel). By His unrelenting covenantal jealousy, we see Yahweh as the Husband of His people.

…as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. Is. 62:5

And it shall be, in that day,’ says the Lord, ‘That you will call Me “My Husband,” and no longer call Me “My Master.”… “I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me In righteousness and justice, In lovingkindness and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, And you shall know the Lord.” Hosea 2:16 - 20

“When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” says the Lord GOD.  Ezekiel 16:8

The Bridegroom in Song of Songs and Psalm 45

Song of Songs

You have ravished my heart, My sister, my spouse; You have ravished my heart With one look of your eyes, With one link of your necklace. Song. 4:9

Love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave. It’s flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame. Song 8:6

Within the Old Testament, we find perhaps the most unmatched and undiluted account of the potency of the heart of the Bridegroom God in the Song of Songs. Contrary to popular protestant opinion in modernity, viewing Song of Songs through the allegorical lens of Christ and His bride is far from unusual when considered historically. Beginning as early as the 200’s the Song of Songs and the image of the soul espoused to God took a place of great prominence.

Psalm 45

Your throne, O God, is forever and ever…therefore God, Your God, has anointed You with the oil of gladness more than Your companions…at Your right hand stands the queen in gold…O daughter incline your ear; forget your own people and your father’s house; So the King will greatly desire your beauty; because He is your Lord, worship Him. The royal daughter is all glorious within the palace. She shall be brought to the King in robes of many colors…

This Psalm – widely accepted and understood as messianic – not only unmistakably reveals the anointed Messiah as the coming victorious King but also as the Bridegroom. 

The song of that which is lovely here reaches the height towards which it aspires from the beginning. It has portrayed the lovely king as a man, as a hero, and as a divine ruler; now it describes him as a bridegroom on the day of his nuptials. The sequence of the thoughts and of the figures corresponds to the history of the future. When Babylon is fallen, and the hero riding upon a white horse, upon whom is inscribed the name “King of kings and Lord of lords,” shall have smitten the hostile nations with the sword that goeth out of His mouth, there then follows the marriage of the Lamb… [3]

Christ the Bridegroom

When the Word became flesh and the eternal God now stepped onto the scene, He revealed Himself to be the Bridegroom. The heart of God was put on display in the Person of Christ and in Him we see with all clarity His jealous love and affections. As the New Testament opens, the Bridegroom - the divine Husband - appears right before our very eyes, ultimately laying down His life to set us free from our sins and in so doing setting in motion the final events that will lead to the consummation.

Far from a peripheral or obscure doctrine, from Matthew to Revelation the New Testament explicitly presents Jesus as the Bridegroom to whom the redeemed are betrothed. Coupled with this positive affirmation is the striking absence of one reference to the people of God as the wife of the Father. The only reasonable conclusion based on the Biblical testimony is that Jesus is the Lord, Yahweh incarnate, and it was His very heart burning with jealousy for Israel on the pages of the Old Testament.[4]

Specifically in the Gospel of John, we see many allusions to this Bridegroom identity. John testified that all of his words were written to give witness to Jesus being the Messiah and the Son of God.

… Jesus did many other signs…but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name. Jn. 20:30, 31

John ascribes to Jesus His place in the unique Divine Identity, presenting Him not only as Creator (Jn. 1:3), Savior (Jn. 4:42) and the I AM (John 4:26, 6:20, 8:24, 8:28, 8:58, 13:19, 18:5), but as the Husband with covenantal affections for His betrothed.

The Wedding at Cana

Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.”…And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!” This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him. Jn. 2:1-11

The first of Jesus’ miracles occurred at a wedding. He miraculously turned more than one hundred gallons of water into wine. In so doing, John says that this first of signs manifested His glory and caused His disciples to believe in Him (John 2:11). In other words, this transforming of water into wine proved to them His identity of Messiah.

The entire purpose of this sign was for the revelation of Jesus’ glory. It not only made known the power of God but conveyed Jesus’ identity as Messiah. How was it that turning water into wine caused something in the heart of his disciples to say, “This is the Messiah!”?

Perhaps there is an underlying assumption that John’s audience would draw upon the connection between the Messiah and wine based upon some traditional association. [5] Very likely, as they watched this miracle, their minds and hearts echoed with the biblical prophecies concerning an abundance of wine at the time of the Messiah’s coming.

The scepter shall not depart from Judah…Until Shiloh comes; And to Him shall be the obedience of the people. Binding his donkey to the vine, And his donkey’s colt to the choice vine, He washed his garments in wine, And his clothes in the blood of grapes. His eyes are darker than wine, And his teeth whiter than milk. Gen. 49:10-12

Behold, the days are coming,” says the Lord, “When the plowman shall overtake the reaper, And the treader of grapes him who sows seed; The mountains shall drip with sweet wine, And all the hills shall flow with it. I will bring back the captives of My people Israel…They shall plant vineyards and drink wine from them; They shall also make gardens and eat fruit from them. Amos 9:11-14

By the irony that the bridegroom of the ceremony was commended for such choice wine, John hints that the Messiah who provides wine in such great quantity is a bridegroom.[6]

The Christ is the Bridegroom

You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ,’ but, ‘I have been sent before Him.’ He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. John 3:28, 29

John declares himself as one whose joy has been fulfilled, perhaps identifying himself with the voice of gladness prophesied by Jeremiah that would accompany the bride and bridegroom in context to the Messiah’s coming.[7]

Again there shall be heard in this place…in the cities of Judah…the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voice of those who will say: “Praise the Lord of hosts, For the Lord is good, For His mercy endures forever”— and of those who will bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the Lord. For I will cause the captives of the land to return as at the first,’ says the Lord. Jer. 33:11

From the wilderness, John the Baptist announces that the this One who is the Christ is the Bridegroom. In this declaration He proclaimed that the Anointed One (the Messiah) is the One who from of old had been the Husband of  His people, the One who beckoned them to turn from idols, the One who made covenant with them and jealously called them to Himself.

Jesus at Jacob’s well

In three stories of Israel’s Scriptures, a man and a woman meet at a well and their encounter leads to betrothal: Abraham’s servant and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, and Moses and Zipporah (Gen. 24:1-67; Gen. 29:1-20; Ex. 2:15 – 22). Many scholars agree that this scene in John 4 is reminiscent of biblical betrothal narratives, only this time the bridegroom-Messiah brings His inheritance to Himself with the many Samaritans who came to believe in Him.

But He needed to go through Samaria… So He came to a city of Samaria which is called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. 6 Now Jacob’s well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied from His journey, sat thus by the well. It was about the sixth hour. A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.” For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. 9 Then the woman of Samaria said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?”… Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” Jn. 4:1-42

So Jacob went on his journey and came to the land of the people of the East. 2 And he looked, and saw a well in the field; and behold, there were three flocks of sheep lying by it; for out of that well they watered the flocks…Now while he was still speaking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherdess. And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother’s brother, that Jacob went near and rolled the stone from the well’s mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother’s brother. Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice and wept. And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s relative and that he was Rebekah’s son. So she ran and told her father. Gen. 29:1 - 11

Other New Testament references to Jesus the Bridegroom

And Jesus said to them, “Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast. No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and the tear is made worse. Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.” ” Matthew 9:15, 16

“Then the kingdom of heaven will be comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom.. Matt. 25: 1-13

Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another—to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God. Rom. 7:4

You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God ? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose : “He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us”? James 4:4, 5

For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. 2 Cor. 11:2, 3

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,  that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish…For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:25-32

The plan of the ages is the great wedding day when we will marry the Lamb.

 The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who arranged a marriage for his son. Matt 22:2

 And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, “Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.”⁸ … ‘Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!’” And he said to me, “These are the true sayings of God.”  Revelation 19:6-9

Beholding the Bridegroom’s cross

For centuries, the cross of Christ has been the most precious meditation of the saints, and the myrrh of His sufferings has been the powerful fragrance lingering longest in the heart that considers Him.

When we consider just who it was who gave Himself up unto death for us, our hearts are wrenched in a love so unspeakable. The One upon that cross was Himself Yahweh incarnate, the Creator in the flesh, the Bridegroom in person.

He is the Holy One so bright in His sinlessness yet so reviled in His brokenness…upon Him we must rest our gaze. Here the pinnacle portrait of Love’s most telling hour…the highpoint of Love’s declaration…the picture that speaks a thousand times ten-thousand words…etched deeply upon the pages of eternity…forever to be told. H­ow deeply the strength of the love of Christ was told in the thunder and the scandal of this Story.

To the heart meditating on this cross, the cry must come forth, “O Jesus, what have you done in Your dying for me? I, the poor one, the sinful and the dark. I, the one joined to the wretchedness of self-absorption, self-exaltation and self-love. And You the One who dwells in the pure freedom of self-denial, self-abandonment and self-sacrifice…the only One of Your kind…O Jesus, what have You done? And what kind of jealous love burned within Your holy heart, what kind of fury for sin and selfishness did you possess that You would put Yourself in such shameful sufferings? What kind of holy affections consumed You to bring You to this heart-wrenching display of love?

Great thief of hearts, the strength of your love has broken even our hard hearts. You inflamed the whole world with your love. Wisest Lord, inebriate our hearts with this wine, burn them with this fire, pierce them with this arrow of your love. This, your cross, is indeed a crossbow that pierces hearts. Let the whole world know that my heart is stricken. Sweetest love, what have you done? You have come to heal me, and you have wounded me. You have come to teach me, and you have made me like someone mad. O wisest madness, may I never live without you. Lord, everything that I see on the cross invites me to love: the wood, the form, the wounds in your body; and above all, your love invites me to love you and never forget you.[8]

Receiving the Bridegroom’s love

This understanding of Jesus in His identity as Bridegroom must touch our hearts personally in the deepest place. We cannot only hear the information and be wowed  by the notion; we must grapple with these truths deeply in our own lives. Just as we find distance in our hearts to the identity of God as Father, and a corresponding need for the Lord to break the hardness of our hearts that we might enter into the joy and freedom of being His child, we need a progressive awakening of our hearts to Jesus as Bridegroom.

The power of knowing Him as a Bridegroom comes when it is strikes my own heart and confronts my own mind and false paradigms. In order for this to happen, I must take these truths, these passages of Scripture, and dialogue with the Lord about them. I must sing them, and meditate upon them in my heart. Many call God Father and never open their hearts to Him as a child. Just the same, many claim to understand Jesus as the Bridegroom and never actually live in the wake of so wondrous a revelation.

Knowing Jesus as Bridegroom in a personal way does not mean that we take this revelation to an unbiblical place, claiming some special relationship with Him or taking it to some unbiblical end. Rather, it means that we take to heart the powerful revelation of Jesus’ deep affection, tender care and covenantal jealousy over us His bride. There is no higher relationship than the espousal relationship and no stronger bond than the bond of marriage. This is the extravagant proximity we have been given to His heart and the inextricable union we have been brought into in Christ.

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[1] Ortlund Raymond C., God’s Unfaithful Wife: A biblical theology of spiritual adultery. New Studies in Biblical Theology, Intervarsity Press, Downers Grove, Illinois. 2002, p 23, 25.

[2] Ibid

[3] Keil, C. F., & Delitzsch, F. (2002). Commentary on the Old Testament. (Ps 45:9–10). Peabody, MA: Hendrickson.

[4] Venable, Stephen. Christology II. International House of Prayer University. Session 03, 2007.

[5] McWhirter, Jocelyn. The Bridegroom Messiah and the People of God. (New York: Cambridge University Press, 2006), p 47, 49.

[6] Ibid, p 47

[7] Ibid. p 50

[8] Ligouri, St. Alphonsus, (quoting John of Avila). The Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ. United States of America: Liguori Publications, 1997. p 9